Inside out

Random musings in and outside the news

Archive for the ‘Life’ Category

One year!

Posted by Abi Kwok on June 5, 2009

Late post.

June 1 marked my first year as a field reporter. Well, officially at least (as stated in my contract). So many things have happened, I’ve met so many people. I was reading my previous post about being scared shitless on becoming a reporter. I still am these days, but I’m more grounded (if that even makes any sense). I’m happy and I can’t imagine myself being anywhere else. *banana dance*

πŸ™‚

Someday, when I feel up to it, I will write a LOOONGΒ entry detailing my coverages. For now, I just want to take it all in πŸ™‚

***

Song for today: Train — My Private Nation

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I hate…

Posted by Abi Kwok on May 27, 2009

…Insensitive, arrogant, selfish people who can’t think of anything or anyone but themselves almost always at the expense of others.

It’s amazing how these kinds of people can fit in one small space and people around them can still keep their sanity. I know I’m trying hard to keep mine. My only consolation is that I have my music (there I go with my music again).

Sigh.

It’s just that things are pretty f*cked up right now and I won’t discuss which part of my life is messed up. Suffice it to say that I’ve been in denial until now, until reality suddenly slapped me with its big, old, ugly hand this hot Wednesday afternoon.

I am trying so effing hard to drown out the noise but these people just keep talking and talking.

Argh.

Help 😦

EDIT. I noticed I’ve been posting pretty negative stuff here lately, so here’s something positive…for a change!:-D

Sweet Silver Lining

By Kate Voegele

Im going home
Downhearted and hoping
Im close to some new beginning
I know
Theres a reason for everything
That comes and goes

But so many people are looking to me
To be strong and to fight
But Im just surviving
I may be weak but Im never defeated
And Ill keep believing
In clouds with that sweet silver lining

Most days
I try my best to put on a brave face
But inside
My bones are cold and my heart breaks
But all the while
Somethings keeping me safe
And alive

I wont give up like this
I will be given strength
And now that Ive found it
Nothing can take that away

===

I love how this song is so positive. I’m always looking for that sweet silver lining πŸ™‚

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Present

Posted by Abi Kwok on May 24, 2009

Through the years I’ve learned to be a “present” person. Thinking about the past made me regret a lot of things I did (leading to TONS of sleepless nights), and thinking about the future just, well, scares me. So I told myself that I would think of the NOW. Right here, where everything is still in my hands and in my control that I can make decisions without worrying too much of what will happen tomorrow or the next day, or the day after that.

Spontaneity? I guess so. But people can argue with me on that. I’ve never been much of a spontaneous person before, but I guess things change and PEOPLE change. I’ve learned to appreciate the “now” instead of the “yesterday” and the “tomorrow.” I guess, at the end of the day, this mindset keeps me sane. Because if I will spend each day planning and thinking ahead, I will definitely have a breakdown.

Breathe in. Breathe out.

I sometimes surprise myself at how I can keep such a cool head when I’m with other people. When I’m alone though, things are SO MUCH DIFFERENT.

====

On a different note, the media and social attention being given to what I would like to call the “Hayden sexcapades” is getting annoying. The man’s a jerk, he’s sick (and he admitted it, right?), and he definitely has to face criminal charges sooner or later. Let’s just leave the law and the people behind its wheel to their work. What I find annoying is that several media outfits are just banking on, cashing in on the controversy.

I would like to think that the issue would just wither and die if media would stop prying on the private lives of these innocent, albeit careless people.

Ultimately, it would boil down to news sense. Is the issue still worth media coverage? Yes it is news worthy, but is it still relevant? And don’t tell me that all these takes on social relevance make the issue relevant, because people are justΒ  getting it wrong.

====

Artist of the day: The Bravery (coolness!)

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Music, music, music!

Posted by Abi Kwok on May 16, 2009

A week’s worth of bumming led me to discover tons of music from different genres that I have now stacked in my iPod for my different listening moods. Ranging from indie, new wave, pop, and rock, these are just some of the artists I discovered (or got oriented to, whichever you prefer :-)) this week:

EDITOR’S NOTE: I’m still too lazy to put descriptions. But I will once I get back on track and I get out of this “forced” vacation and my brain starts working again :-/ in the meantime, I will put in some of the songs I loved from the artists πŸ˜€

  • Jason Reeves – “Never Find Again, “Reaching,” and “Pretty Eyes” are my favorites.
  • James Morrison – I loved his duet with Nelly Furtado in “Broken Strings” and I also loved the song “Once, When I Was Little”
  • Alphabeat – super, SUPER loved this group. Their songs make me smile, especially “10,000 Nights.” Do check out the video. Super cool πŸ˜€
  • Ingrid Michaelson – “The Way I Am” rocks!
  • Kate Voegele – I love Kate’s character in One Tree Hill. I also love her songs. In her new album, I love “Angel” and “Inside Out” (like the name of this blog, heh)
  • Matthew Ryan – super hard to find his songs. Ugh. I love “Return To Me”
  • Vampire Weekend – I had their album in 2007 but lost it when my iPod conked. So I downloaded their self-titled album again this week and I was reminded of how cool this band is. Very nice!

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Stress/panic

Posted by Abi Kwok on May 13, 2009

Tonight was one of the worse nights of my life. Suffice it to say that I had to deal with so many adult things unprepared. I was caught off guard. I was not ready. But who’s ready with these kinds of things anyway, right? I’m glad, though, that things ended out right, albeit not good.

Sigh.

Tired.

Stressed.

Panicky.

Cry.

😦

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Updates

Posted by Abi Kwok on May 3, 2009

Halu! I haven’t updated my blog for the longest time. So much has happened in these past weeks that I feel like I’m floating in mid-air. Anyhow, I’ll keep my updates in tabs to keep it short:

  • May 1 coverage was fun, stress-free, and worthwhile, maybe because of the great company I was with, but all in all I think it’s because of the cool weather and the great people I re-united with after such a long time πŸ™‚
  • The workplace – management, not the beat – has been hell. A lot of great people are leaving the company and I feel really bad.
  • I just saw Slumdog Millionaire last night. I loved the story, the cinematography and the Bollywood dance moves at the ending of the movie. It was very tastefully made πŸ˜€
  • I’m back to singlehood again, after more than two years. I’m happier this way, instead of staying in a relationship that you know will get you nowhere in the long term πŸ™‚
  • I’m looking forward to the Davids concert! Time to buy tickets πŸ˜€
  • BTW, I’m also facing a tough dilemma again, work-wise. I’ve only told four people about this new dilemma and all of them agreed that I should stick to the status quo. Sigh. Hope I make the right decision.
  • I’ve reconnected with my rock/alternative/emo self again! I’ve re-downloaded songs from MCR, Smashing Pumpkins, Stereophonics, Green Day, Snow Patrol, and other great rock songs from the 80s-90s. Ilahvit πŸ˜€

A weight has been lifted off my chest and I’m happier now. I’m glad I made the right decision. Thanks for all your prayers πŸ™‚

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Falling slowly

Posted by Abi Kwok on April 18, 2009

I don’t know you
But I want you
All the more for that
Words fall through me
And always fool me
And I can’t react
And games that never amount
To more than they’re meant
Will play themselves out

Take this sinking boat and point it home
We’ve still got time
Raise your hopeful voice you have a choice
You’ll make it now

Falling slowly, eyes that know me
And I can’t go back
Moods that take me and erase me
And I’m painted black
You have suffered enough
And warred with yourself
It’s time that you won

Take this sinking boat and point it home
We’ve still got time
Raise your hopeful voice you had a choice
You’ve made it now
Falling slowly sing your melody
I’ll sing along

*Sigh*

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Wish fulfilled!

Posted by Abi Kwok on April 10, 2009

The fam and I went to Baguio on Thursday…one of those spur-of-the-moment type of things our family is very famous for. Despite planning the trip on the last minute, we were able to book a great, cheap hotel located in downtown Baguio City, and we were able to convince our great driver to take us there! We only stayed there for a day but it was really, REALLY worth it.

Visiting Baguio — even if it is jam-packed with tourists like us — was a stress-buster. It took my mind off things at work and it made me appreciate my family, my life, and my environment better πŸ˜€ I wish everyday was a vacation where I can just escape to a faraway city and be my wacky, old self πŸ˜‰

dsc_16011

More pictures on my Facebook and Multiply accounts. Friends only, though πŸ˜‰

Posted in Life, Photo diary | 1 Comment »

Betrayal

Posted by Abi Kwok on April 2, 2009

Tomorrow is D-day.

All these changes came as a surprise to me, to everyone of us, frankly. What hurts the most, for me, is that the person who should be keepingΒ  my – OUR – interest in mind is precisely the one who would not stand up for us amid all these. (or if he WAS standing up for us, it’s not obvious or it’s not working). The changes came so fast and so behind-the-back that we never even knew what hit us.

Well, we sorta had an idea. But we never really KNEW it because no one bothered to tell us the real score. All the information we are getting are filtered. It sucks. I’m so sick and disheartened of this corporate/management/marketing bullshit. Sigh.

And just when I was getting the hang of things.

As I said, tomorrow is D-Day. Whatever happens, we will try our best to fight and see this through the end.

I need your prayers πŸ™‚

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2 years

Posted by Abi Kwok on March 29, 2009

Tomorrow, March 30, will mark my 2nd year in the “real world.” These are the time when I really miss school. But who knows, I might find myself inside a classroom pretty soon. You’ll never know…;-)

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