I hate…

…Insensitive, arrogant, selfish people who can’t think of anything or anyone but themselves almost always at the expense of others.

It’s amazing how these kinds of people can fit in one small space and people around them can still keep their sanity. I know I’m trying hard to keep mine. My only consolation is that I have my music (there I go with my music again).

Sigh.

It’s just that things are pretty f*cked up right now and I won’t discuss which part of my life is messed up. Suffice it to say that I’ve been in denial until now, until reality suddenly slapped me with its big, old, ugly hand this hot Wednesday afternoon.

I am trying so effing hard to drown out the noise but these people just keep talking and talking.

Argh.

Help

EDIT. I noticed I’ve been posting pretty negative stuff here lately, so here’s something positive…for a change!:-D

Sweet Silver Lining

By Kate Voegele

Im going home
Downhearted and hoping
Im close to some new beginning
I know
Theres a reason for everything
That comes and goes

But so many people are looking to me
To be strong and to fight
But Im just surviving
I may be weak but Im never defeated
And Ill keep believing
In clouds with that sweet silver lining

Most days
I try my best to put on a brave face
But inside
My bones are cold and my heart breaks
But all the while
Somethings keeping me safe
And alive

I wont give up like this
I will be given strength
And now that Ive found it
Nothing can take that away

===

I love how this song is so positive. I’m always looking for that sweet silver lining

Present

Through the years I’ve learned to be a “present” person. Thinking about the past made me regret a lot of things I did (leading to TONS of sleepless nights), and thinking about the future just, well, scares me. So I told myself that I would think of the NOW. Right here, where everything is still in my hands and in my control that I can make decisions without worrying too much of what will happen tomorrow or the next day, or the day after that.

Spontaneity? I guess so. But people can argue with me on that. I’ve never been much of a spontaneous person before, but I guess things change and PEOPLE change. I’ve learned to appreciate the “now” instead of the “yesterday” and the “tomorrow.” I guess, at the end of the day, this mindset keeps me sane. Because if I will spend each day planning and thinking ahead, I will definitely have a breakdown.

Breathe in. Breathe out.

I sometimes surprise myself at how I can keep such a cool head when I’m with other people. When I’m alone though, things are SO MUCH DIFFERENT.

====

On a different note, the media and social attention being given to what I would like to call the “Hayden sexcapades” is getting annoying. The man’s a jerk, he’s sick (and he admitted it, right?), and he definitely has to face criminal charges sooner or later. Let’s just leave the law and the people behind its wheel to their work. What I find annoying is that several media outfits are just banking on, cashing in on the controversy.

I would like to think that the issue would just wither and die if media would stop prying on the private lives of these innocent, albeit careless people.

Ultimately, it would boil down to news sense. Is the issue still worth media coverage? Yes it is news worthy, but is it still relevant? And don’t tell me that all these takes on social relevance make the issue relevant, because people are just  getting it wrong.

====

Artist of the day: The Bravery (coolness!)

Abi’s songs for survival (part 1)

In random order:

1. The Cure – Pictures Of You

2. The Beatles – Here Comes The Sun

3. The Beatles — If I Fell

4. The Postal Service – Such Great Heights

5. Iron and Wine – Naked As We came

6. John Legend – Everybody Knows

7. Boys Like Girls – Thunder

8. The Carpenters – Superstar

9. Stereophonics – Superman

10. Dashboard Confessional – Hands Down

11. The Eagles – Hotel California

12. Elvis Costello – Alison

13. Fall Out Boy – A Little Less Sixteen Candles, A Little More “Touch Me”

14. Feeder – Tender

15. A Fine Frenzy – Ashes and Wine

16. The Fray – Never Say Never

17. Guns N’ Roses – Patience

18. Jack’s Mannequin – Rescued

19. Jason Mraz – You and I Both

20. Jason Mraz – Details in the Fabric

21. Jonas Brothers – Lovebug

22. Lifehouse – Broken

23. Lifehouse – Somewhere in Between

24. Michael Buble – The Way You Look Tonight

25. Motion City Soundtrack – Everything is Alright

26. Nada Surf – Paper Boats

27. One Republic – Mercy

28. The Beatles – Hey Jude

29. Weezer – Island in the Sun

30. Chris Brown – Superhuman

31. Snow Patrol – Signal Fire

32. Daft Punk – Digital Love

33. Death Cab for Cutie – Title and Registration

34. Foo Fighters – Walking After You

35.  The Fray – Over My Head (Cable Car)

36.  Jason Reeves – Never Find Again

37. The Honorary Title – Stay Away

38. Cheap Trick – The Flame

39. Jimmy Eat World – 23

40. Keane – A Bad Dream

Music, music, music!

A week’s worth of bumming led me to discover tons of music from different genres that I have now stacked in my iPod for my different listening moods. Ranging from indie, new wave, pop, and rock, these are just some of the artists I discovered (or got oriented to, whichever you prefer ) this week:

EDITOR’S NOTE: I’m still too lazy to put descriptions. But I will once I get back on track and I get out of this “forced” vacation and my brain starts working again :-/ in the meantime, I will put in some of the songs I loved from the artists

• Jason Reeves – “Never Find Again, “Reaching,” and “Pretty Eyes” are my favorites.
• James Morrison – I loved his duet with Nelly Furtado in “Broken Strings” and I also loved the song “Once, When I Was Little”
• Alphabeat – super, SUPER loved this group. Their songs make me smile, especially “10,000 Nights.” Do check out the video. Super cool
• Ingrid Michaelson - “The Way I Am” rocks!
• Kate Voegele – I love Kate’s character in One Tree Hill. I also love her songs. In her new album, I love “Angel” and “Inside Out” (like the name of this blog, heh)
• Matthew Ryan - super hard to find his songs. Ugh. I love “Return To Me”
• Vampire Weekend - I had their album in 2007 but lost it when my iPod conked. So I downloaded their self-titled album again this week and I was reminded of how cool this band is. Very nice!

My Mixed Tape [4]

Gym Class Heroes – Cookie Jar

Matthew Ryan – Return to Me

The Cure – Love Song

Guns N’ Roses – Patience

Alphabeat – 10,000 Nights

Trembling Blue Stars – Moonlight On Snow

Stereophonics – Superman

Athlete – Airport Disco

Iron & Wine – Naked As We Came

A Fine Frenzy – Ashes and Wine

James Morrison – Broken Strings

Robin Thicke – The Sweetest Love

Stress/panic

Tonight was one of the worse nights of my life. Suffice it to say that I had to deal with so many adult things unprepared. I was caught off guard. I was not ready. But who’s ready with these kinds of things anyway, right? I’m glad, though, that things ended out right, albeit not good.

Sigh.

Tired.

Stressed.

Panicky.

Cry.

Moving on…

Last night I fell in love without you.
I waved goodbye to that heart of mine
Beating solo on your lawn

Every aching wound will cauterize and bruise
In memory of what we used to call in love
And only time will tell if violins will swell
In memory of what we used to call in love

Last night I fell in love without you
The stars at night aren’t as big and bright
As you make them out to be

Updates

Halu! I haven’t updated my blog for the longest time. So much has happened in these past weeks that I feel like I’m floating in mid-air. Anyhow, I’ll keep my updates in tabs to keep it short:

• May 1 coverage was fun, stress-free, and worthwhile, maybe because of the great company I was with, but all in all I think it’s because of the cool weather and the great people I re-united with after such a long time
• The workplace – management, not the beat – has been hell. A lot of great people are leaving the company and I feel really bad.
• I just saw Slumdog Millionaire last night. I loved the story, the cinematography and the Bollywood dance moves at the ending of the movie. It was very tastefully made
• I’m back to singlehood again, after more than two years. I’m happier this way, instead of staying in a relationship that you know will get you nowhere in the long term
• I’m looking forward to the Davids concert! Time to buy tickets
• BTW, I’m also facing a tough dilemma again, work-wise. I’ve only told four people about this new dilemma and all of them agreed that I should stick to the status quo. Sigh. Hope I make the right decision.
• I’ve reconnected with my rock/alternative/emo self again! I’ve re-downloaded songs from MCR, Smashing Pumpkins, Stereophonics, Green Day, Snow Patrol, and other great rock songs from the 80s-90s. Ilahvit

A weight has been lifted off my chest and I’m happier now. I’m glad I made the right decision. Thanks for all your prayers